People Don’t Buy from the Person Who Sells the Most, but from the One Who Understands Them Best

In today’s world, sales is not just about pushing a product; it’s about building relationships and understanding the customer’s needs. The traditional idea that “the harder you sell, the more you sell” is outdated. Modern consumers are savvy—they can see through hard sales tactics and respond much better to genuine empathy. As a result, people are more likely to buy from the person who truly understands them, rather than the one who tries the hardest to sell.

1. The Shift from Transactional to Relational Selling

The digital age has made information more accessible than ever. Consumers no longer rely on salespeople to tell them what they need—they can research products, compare prices, and read reviews all on their own. This shift has led to a new era of relational selling, where the primary goal is to build trust and connection with the customer.

A study by Salesforce found that 84% of customers say being treated like a person, not a number, is crucial to winning their business . It’s not about the sales pitch; it’s about understanding the customer’s problems, aspirations, and values. When salespeople take the time to listen and offer solutions tailored to individual needs, customers feel understood and valued. This sense of connection is what drives sales in today’s market.

2. Understanding Leads to Trust

Trust is the foundation of any successful sales relationship. A Gallup survey found that 71% of people are more likely to buy from a salesperson they trust, even if they find the same product at a lower price elsewhere . Trust is not built through aggressive selling—it’s built through understanding.

When salespeople genuinely listen to a customer’s concerns, preferences, and goals, they demonstrate that they care about more than just making a sale. By asking thoughtful questions and showing empathy, sales professionals can gain deeper insights into what the customer truly values. This level of understanding fosters trust, and trust ultimately leads to loyalty and repeat business.

3. Empathy as a Competitive Advantage

In a crowded marketplace, standing out is more difficult than ever. While competitors may offer similar products or services, the way salespeople engage with their customers can be a powerful differentiator. A study by the Harvard Business Review showed that companies that successfully apply empathy in their customer interactions outperform their competition by 20% in terms of revenue growth .

Empathy involves putting yourself in the customer’s shoes and addressing their pain points or desires on a personal level. For example, instead of focusing solely on product features, a salesperson can ask, “What challenges are you facing right now?” or “How can we help make things easier for you?” This approach makes the customer feel heard and appreciated, leading them to choose your brand over others that may be less in tune with their needs.

4. People Buy Solutions, Not Products

Consumers don’t just buy products—they buy solutions to their problems. Whether it’s a small household item or a business software suite, people are looking for something that meets their specific needs. This is why understanding the customer’s pain points and priorities is essential in sales.

A study by McKinsey revealed that 70% of the buying experience is based on how the customer feels they are being understood . Instead of pushing for a sale, successful salespeople focus on understanding the problem the customer is trying to solve and then positioning their product as the ideal solution. By shifting the focus from selling a product to providing a solution, salespeople can connect with customers on a deeper level.

5. The Long-Term Benefits of Understanding Customers

Salespeople who prioritize understanding over selling create long-term relationships, not just one-time transactions. A customer who feels understood is more likely to return and recommend your brand to others. According to Bain & Company, increasing customer retention rates by just 5% can increase profits by 25% to 95% . This demonstrates the immense value of building relationships based on empathy and understanding rather than simply pushing for the next sale.

Additionally, satisfied customers who feel understood are more likely to provide valuable feedback that can help improve products and services. This, in turn, creates a feedback loop where salespeople better understand their customers’ evolving needs, leading to even stronger relationships and higher sales over time.

6. Practical Steps to Understand Customers Better

  • Ask the Right Questions: Instead of leading with a pitch, begin by asking open-ended questions to understand the customer’s situation. What problems are they facing? What do they hope to achieve?
  • Active Listening: Be fully present during conversations. Don’t interrupt or think about your next move while the customer is speaking. Focus on what they’re saying and ask follow-up questions to clarify.
  • Personalize Your Approach: Use the information you’ve gathered to tailor your solutions to the specific needs of the customer. Avoid a one-size-fits-all sales pitch.
  • Follow Up Meaningfully: After the sale, continue the relationship. Reach out to ask how the product is working for them or if they need any further assistance. This shows that you care beyond the transaction.

Final Thoughts

In an era where trust and connection matter more than ever, successful salespeople are those who prioritize understanding their customers over pushing for a quick sale. By empathizing with customers, addressing their unique needs, and building genuine relationships, sales professionals can create long-term loyalty and success.

Remember, people don’t buy from the person who sells them the hardest—they buy from the one who understands them the best.


References:

  • : Salesforce. (2022). “State of the Connected Customer Report.”
  • : Gallup. (2021). “Trust in Sales and Its Impact on Consumer Behavior.”
  • : Harvard Business Review. (2020). “Empathy as a Key Driver of Business Success.”
  • : McKinsey & Company. (2021). “The Customer Experience as a Critical Differentiator in Sales.”
  • : Bain & Company. (2019). “The Financial Impact of Customer Retention.”